This question was posted as a comment on my YouTube page under the video I posted recently about life coaching. I felt this comment asked me to answer some legitimate questions as well as give me an opportunity to clarify some perceptions this person has.
"Question, aside from some certification, what do you feel qualifies you as a "life coach"? What struggles or trauma have you had to go thru personality that makes you wise enough to help uplift someones life? Your other videos you look as though your searching for something, and same as in this one, your not fully confident. Is it that your really dealing with being in the shadow of someone very successful? Have you ever had to support yourself ? When was your last paying job?"
****Question, aside from some certification, what do you feel qualifies you as a “life coach”? What struggles or trauma have you had to go thru personality that makes you wise enough to help uplift someones life?
To be of service is a passion I have had from an early age and it has grown into an ability to give back with my time and resources. The feeling always came up while in college, in work, in leadership roles I was involved with, family and also in non profit work that I do. I know I have an ability in making an individual feel comfortable to talk with me as well as being an attentive and active listener. These are 2 important qualifications I am bringing to the life coach profession. The other qualification that I know makes me more unique to the coaching world is that of my age and lifestyle. I am 29 years old and lived a life that involved me with nightlife and the entertainment industry where I actively sought out a deeper sense of gratification from the daily ‘hustle & grind’ of life in your 20’s. In a video I posted a year ago I mentioned that my goal was to help motivate & inspire young women from late teens to early 30’s to “know their self worth” and to help motivate them to seek out their own personal fulfillment. This is done first on a pathway of relating by my own life experiences and even more so by facilitating through coaching a way to clearly recognize one’s own goals + core values. Upon clearly defining what those are you can align your life to fulfilling what it is you want. The stuff that took me years of self discovery, soul searching and plenty of doubts, tears, and prayers can “now be yours for a small one time fee of $39.99!!!” (taxes + shipping not included)
But really, in all honesty, those are my “qualifications” and they will not appeal to everyone which is understandable. I also want to add that my life is shared via a personal lifestyle blog which can either repel or attract a potential client to my services. This is an honest transparent approach to document my own personal life path. First and solely for myself, satisfying my artistic inclination allowing me to create my story by expressing my individuality as authentically + creatively as I can. It also documents my path as it unfolds and I think that my own self realization in seeing the difference in 2 video posts almost a year apart from each other is rewarding to me. It serves as a reminder to my goal I set and remaining true to it. If this happens to inspire someone that visits the website then that is an added bonus.
****What struggles or trauma have you had to go thru personality that makes you wise enough to help uplift someones life?
I don’t feel going through struggles in life has a direct correlation to the ability to help “uplift someone else’s life.” Practicing compassion towards another is not based on whether you, yourself have experienced it but on whether or not your aware of one’s pain or discomfort. That awareness and the desire to alleviate or help is key to what I feel is necessary in order to help someone else. To be frank, majority of the work to “uplift” someone else is whether or not they want to change. I also think that the word “wise” is not a word I would use to describe myself because I come from a place of sharing & concern and a goal to help things become more clear to an individual. The word “wise” seems as if I am going to provide you all the answers to all of your life’s mysteries. In a coaching practice I help you come up with your own answers. In fact, that is what makes the process so special… deep down you always know what is best for you.
Who would know any better?.
****Your other videos you look as though your searching for something, and same as in this one, your not fully confident. Is it that your really dealing with being in the shadow of someone very successful?
I am searching for something throughout my videos and posts on my blog this is something I openly share. In fact, the #1 goal in starting my lifestyle blog has always been to share my personal story and journey as it unfolds and as I discover what is my “creative outlet or passion.” This is stated in the video just recently posted as well as the video almost a year ago. My confidence has grown 10-fold since that video I posted over a year ago because I finally stepped outside my comfort zone and stated to the world what it is I want out of life. The results were felt the very next day! I felt lighter, more free, and very encouraged to invite what was next into this new “openness” inside me. Then there came the positive feedback, in emails, in posts, in comments and in phone calls… my network of support was not limited to friends but also from strangers. This was never expected but fully embraced. A year later and with a path involving a life coach certification I am even more confident than 1 year prior. I am still staying true to my goal. If you were to ask me “well! What is next, then?” That is where I would have to tell you with a smile we will just have to wait and see. I take life one day at a time and the confidence I have accumulated stays with me because I know I have found my groove, my path.
****Is it that your really dealing with being in the shadow of someone very successful?
The success he has does not make me in his “shadow” upon which I must “deal” with it, as if I am negatively coping with his success. It actually brings the opposite where I am inspired, gain more clarity and light from a living example that a person’s potential is limitless! I also think that “success” is one of those words that can mean very different things when personally defined. I feel “success” means living a life of genuine happiness and where your true desires are met. When I look at my partner’s success I see him happy to be doing the work he loves and creating through his passion for music. Upon seeing that and interacting with him I know that my true desires can be met in work that makes me happy.
****Have you ever had to support yourself ? When was your last paying job?
Yes. I was supporting myself from my first job at 16. I paid my way through college, I did not have assistance aside from a partial scholarship and I did not finish either. I started working in nightlife and modeling at 18 and I made great money. I traveled the world, I bought a house and always tried to be smart about preserving or investing my money. I had a tuffness in regards to my relationship with money and a “survivor” mentality because I loved how self sufficient I was. I worked very hard. It felt great and I wanted to maintain that in every safe and risk free way as possible. This all changed after losing my grandfather when I was 21 and I brought myself back to alignment on what really mattered to me. Inspired by what I felt my grandfather represented to me, I realigned my life to have faith & family at my core. I also started reading a lot of spiritual books because I had a lot of questions and disharmony with how to express faith in organized religion. The money I was making now served as a resource for me to help my family out and to help those less fortunate. I was my own financial ‘rock’ and with a lot of self discovery and real life incidents I formed a belief that I still strongly hold today and that is that money is arbitrary. There is a relationship we all share with money (usually a love/hate or a have/have-not ) but if you get to the core of what money means to you as far as value, you can see that a money relationship is usually only serving a surface or superficial value. You can find the substance you seek at a deeper level and sometimes in other ways. That is the path that I am on now and ties into my definition I shared with you on “success.”
I know my answer to this has evolved through the years because coming from being a financial “rock” to a relationship where I have not worked the last couple years has created a humbling experience. It is not only a fortunate situation on a surface based perception but has had a deeper meaning, a reason for me to discover. I learned that I identified too much with a “survivor” mentality and that “I don’t need help” attitude and that needed to be balanced.
The paradox of my lesson learned is seen in my strong desire to always help others but did not have the courage or acceptance to ask for my own help. My financial stability was a security that served as a false sense of reassurance that “I didn’t need help.” When that was lifted because of a relationship it left me feeling lost and with a feeling of lost identity?! Those first couple years became a search on what it is I wanted to do, who I wanted to become and how I was going to get there. With encouragement and inspiration from those around me I started to ask for help and let down my composed guard and self sufficient mask. In letting others in and accepting that I did not have all the answers I know now that I want to help others with that process. I guess this ties in another “qualification” on why I am a life coach and seek to motivate individuals.
I asked for help. I received. I want to give back. You ask for help. You receive. You give back…(repeat cycle continuously )
“In my lifetime this will be my greatest success.”